Just like in a book, life has chapters. Some pages build to big events, and some are life-changing all on their own. After bringing a baby into the world, a couple’s relationship enters a new phase in many ways. It’s not just the two of you anymore — you have a baby to take care of, 24/7.
Childbirth can uproot your sex life. You’re tired, sore, and still healing from something that was quite possibly the bravest and most alarming experience you’ve ever been through. In short, you’re just not in the mood. But keeping your love life healthy is important for a strong relationship, so here are some ways to keep the spark alive and maintain sexual intimacy after having a baby…
Start small with hand holding and cuddling --
You don’t need to go from 0 to 100. The simple act of physical touch will naturally lead to foreplay and eventually intercourse when both parties are ready. Ask for a back or foot massage, have your partner run their fingers through your hair, nibble on earlobes, or simply play footsies under the table at dinner. Little gestures will spark your libido and remind you of the attraction you share.
Be open about what’s going on in your mind --
Don’t be afraid to share what you’re going through with your partner. If you’re open with him or her they will better understand your feelings, rather than being left to their own thoughts about what could be going on. They could feel rejected or unwanted, so letting them know that it’s not THEM, it’s YOU simply needing more time will put you on the same page and save some hurt feelings.
Take time for self-love and self-care --
When you feel confident you feel sexier, so don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. Go on a walk alone, do dinner with your girlfriends, and spend as much time as you need on your nightly facial routine. If you’re overdue for a pedicure, your roots are showing, or your body needs a good sweat at SoulCycle, do what brings you joy — because joy is contagious and your partner will feel it when you’re happy.
Bring in some extra fun --
It’s a simple fact of life that sometimes sex hurts… especially after having a baby. Because you may be more dry than usual, Foria Wellness makes Awaken, a natural arousal oil made from CBD and a variety of plant-based aphrodisiacs, while Rosebud Woman has created a stimulating serum called Arouse that’s chock-full of clean ingredients like maca, suma, and ashwagandha. And, never underestimate the power of adult toys. Maude has a portable phthalate and latex-free personal massager that can be used solo or with a partner, and Lioness has a “smart vibrator” that works in sync with your body via an app on your smartphone. How millennial of you!
Balance your hormones with clean eating and supplements --
Throughout pregnancy your hormones are experiencing mega shifts and afterwards they don’t just miraculously go back to normal. It takes time and patience but getting enough sleep, eating clean and reducing alcohol, minimizing stress, and removing toxins from the home can help in a major way. If you want to add some healthy supplements that are known to increase libido, pine pollen, maca root, and the stimulating blend of adaptogens in Moon Juice’s Sex Dust have been known to pack a punch and boost creativity… in and out of the sheets.
Go on a date, sans baby --
The reason you and your partner work is that you genuinely like spending time together. However, with a baby in the picture your solo time spent with one another is likely saturated with baby cries and diaper changing. So it’s important that you keep looking at your partner the way you did before. Schedule a date, get a sitter, dress up, and go back in time just a bit to enjoy what made you fall in love in the first place.
